Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
