How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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