And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
