can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
