ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
