do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
