Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
