I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
