There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
