i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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