..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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