Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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