and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
