i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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