Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I bet he comes in French.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
vagina is talking i cant
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
