id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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