Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
We don't watch enough power rangers
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
