I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
