my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
