with your own penis?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
