Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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