i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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