So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
