i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It's not a walk of shame if you run
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
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