If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You ate ashes out of my bong
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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