I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize