New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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