Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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