I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
