That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
