So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
