My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
