I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
