P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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