Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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