Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
