I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
so that wasnt chicken after all
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
