does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
i believe in u and ur pee
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
