if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
