whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
