erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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