She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
