So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
