only if we run a train.
done.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Less talking, more tequila
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
