can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
