Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
