Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
