Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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