Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
