Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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