Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
