and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
