honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
